This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
Matthew 18 ends with a story from the Lord Jesus, regarding forgiveness. The story highlights our foolishness when we do not forgive our brother or sister in Christ, and also tells us what we can expect when we are unforgiving.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished ato settle accounts with his servants.7 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him bten thousand ctalents.8 25 dAnd since he could not pay, his master ordered him eto be sold, with his wife and fchildren and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant9 gfell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and dforgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred hdenarii,10 and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt."
As you read this story, I hope you are shocked at the unforgiving spirit of this servant. He owed 10 thousand talents, which is essentially an amount that would be impossible for him to pay back, and as a consequence of his inability to pay, he along with his wife, children, and all possessions, were to be sold to repay the debt. After begging the King for more time to repay the debt, the King had compassion on him and released him, forgiving him all of what he owed.
This is a picture of the forgiveness of God, toward those who believe in Jesus Christ. We have been forgiven a debt that we couldn't pay back.
And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) - Ephesians 2:1-5
This is passage describes very clearly what we were, and just how helpless we are. The Bible tells us that we walked according to the course of this world, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and mind, and were by nature children of wrath. If you are in Christ, this is what you were before the mercy of God found you, and if you are not in Christ, this is a description of what you are now. We deserve God's wrath for our sin, and apart from his mercy to us, we would have to endure just that in Hell. If you are not trusting in the work of Jesus, you are already condemned and still on a trajectory towards this awful ending. I plead with you to seek the Lord Jesus, while he may be found; your eternal destiny depends on it.
Suffice to say, our situation wasn't good. Like the servant in Jesus' Parable, we owed a debt that we could not pay back. We were utterly helpless, described as being dead in trespasses and sin. It was the mercy of God, because of his great love, who made us alive together with Christ, that we who are in Christ can now rejoice in hope. That's the only reason.
The servant from the Parable was completely forgiven of his debt, and in the eyes of his master, he was released. Nevertheless, he went out and found one who owed him, yet refused to show any mercy or compassion, like that which was extended to him. At this, his Master was appalled; the servant was forgiven a debt that was so great, he could have never paid it back, however, when another owed him a much lower amount, he showed no compassion or mercy.
We are guilty of the same evil when we fail to forgive our brothers in Christ when they sin against us. God's standard of forgiveness is for us to forgive, just as we have been forgiven.
And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32
To withhold mercy from another is an offense to God's mercy and grace. God is merciful, and rich in mercy. Abundant mercy and grace can be found for those in Christ; God also gives sufficient grace every day to follow Jesus. When we reflect Christ and bear his fruit, God is glorified; when we are unforgiving, we are acting contrary to the basic forgiving character of God. A bitter unforgiving spirit is a serious sin, that must be repented of. No matter what anybody has done to you, it doesn't compare to your offense toward God with your sin. Many of us who are in Christ, have experienced pain and hurt from those we sought to love; perhaps even from your past life, you were traumatized by an event that you simply could not prevent.
If you are in Christ, God has forgiven you completely, and forever. This is the same type of forgiveness that we are to extend to others. We must remind ourselves of God's mercy; mainly, that we owed him and we couldn't pay him back. We deserved God's wrath for our sins, we deserve for him to send us to Hell. But God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ. Let's look at the cost of our forgiveness.
Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. - Isaiah 53:4-6
That is what it took to clean us from the crimson stain of sin. Jesus was bruised for our iniquity, and by his stripes, we are healed. When we are unforgiving toward others, we bring shame to Jesus who suffered immensely that we might be reconciled to God. Few things are more offensive to God, than when his children show no mercy. As the parable shows, this man was a wicked servant who showed no mercy, though he had been completely forgiven.
My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.
Finally, an unforgiving spirit is a sin that will incur God's discipline; God chastises every son he receives, and anyone who is without chastening is an illegitimate son. As Jesus said, if you are unforgiving you can expect the discipline of the Father. If you are a follower of Jesus and find that you are miserable in your walk and that your prayer life and personal study are dry, it would be wise to first check and make sure you are not holding bitterness inside.
If so, take time to go through God's word and look at what God has done for you in Christ. Remind yourself of God's mercy and that he has forgiven you of more sin than you could ever imagine. Seek grace to repent and forgive your brother or sister from the heart, remembering that their offense to you is incomparable to your offense to God. Yet he had mercy on you. Amen!
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